not a good one, november.

it’s there, yet it’s not there.

It’s visible, somehow it’s invisible.

It may look crystal clear, but the truth is it’s as hazy as fog.”

It’s not a riddle, by the way.

Okay, I’m kidding. That’s a riddle, for whoever that will get the meaning of them.

My mind kinda messed up this night. The reason? maybe it’s because it’s november now.  I always have bad romance with november since 2010. FYI, I was born on November.  and since 2010, lot of bad things happened to me on november.  on 2010, I stayed up till dawn just to finish my assignment and wake up with massive headache, and only few people wish for my birthday. on 2011 I got a not-so-big and tearing problem, even my dad shed tears back then because of me. I never saw him like that before, and my mom never stop blaming herself about that problem. thus made us kinda forget about my birthday. and on last 2012 I got a major fail at the thing that i wanted like crazy. but 2012 wasn’t as bad as the last two years. And tonight, here I am, wondering what will happen this november. that’s why somehow, I got my mind messed up.

and the riddle above, came up from my kinda-messed-mind. Basically it aims for two object. A human and a thing.
the last sentences refers to a thing, while the first two are for a human. A human that distracted my mind since I dont know when. It keep appearing in my mind and for Allah sake, it disturbed me. And opening facebook worsened that condition.

Ohmergaad, I don’t know why I am so sad because it’s there but it’s not there and it’s visible but invisible. frustrating isn’t it?

I talk about my heart if you don’t get it, by the way.

it started on May, and a small convos between me and my mom triggered it all. It changed my vision and everything. and somehow, I dunno how, i got pushed into it.

And~ since it’s november and my birthday is coming closer, i couldnt help but hoping something good will happen (who wouldn’t hoping for good thing, anyway?) . something better than the previous years.  and ugh..holisit, I couldn’t help but hoping that invisible thing becomes really visible 😥

Actually, I really am not a type of girl who loves something love story, romantic things and etcetera etcetera. and this kind of feeling really annoyed me, I tell you.

i hate how my mind became like this -___- really.

it’s all because of november.


What am I talking about?!

what a trash xP


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